How to get Through a Hard Time
Originally written May 15th, Final edit August 8th 2017
What is the nature of reality? Is all of reality either dark or light? Is reality based on the limitations of our senses? Do we give our reality our own meaning? Is part of perception of reality highly influenced by our survival mechanisms? Are our perceptions influenced by our quest for comfort?
Discomfort, conflict, stress, let downs, illness, unexpected circumstances, misunderstandings, finances, traumas, disasters, all are apart of our human existence.
Either way at some point our reality presents itself with something unwanted or uncomfortable, even painful and frightening. It's a life process we go through many times over. Many people refer to this as a hard time.
How to get unstuck?
1. Accept that reality is full of suffering, that suffering is part of Existence.
2. If you can't accept, try to alleviate suffering by detachment from the circumstance. Even denial is good thing temporarily. If you can't accept, ignore and survive.
3. Remember you are not alone, all people go through difficulty and it should not be stigmatized.
4. Connect with others who have been through or are going through the same thing.
5. Have self-compassion, realize you are doing the best you can given the circumstance.
6. Ask for help, ask for what you need, sometimes people want to help.
7. Love what is, completely surrender to your current reality.
8. See it to the end, as Winston Churchill says, "If you are going through hell, keep going" . Might as well not stop there.
9. Remember the good times, go through old pictures & memories of good times you've had, realize more will come again. Remember there are always things to look forward to. Some things are as small as going to work or a warm cup of tea but they are important. Remember it is a blessing to exist in this life.
10. Take some deep breaths as often as you can
11. Visualize your success plan, like an athlete, visualizing yourself over coming obstacles is a good motivational tool.
12. Do self care, go for a walk, get a massage, go to yoga, take a hike, take some long baths, talk with friends. Give yourself the gift of your own comfort and care.
13. Picture yourself being okay.
14. Smile even if you don't feel like it. When you smile at someone it activates mirror neurons in their brains that causes them to smile back. Giving joy even when you don't have it is a way to create a positive vibe around yourself and insulate yourself from the hardship you are dealing with.
15. Be gentle on yourself on your bad days, we can't be strong every minute of the day or when we are tired, sick or stressed, sometimes we have mini moments of anxiety or anger etc. Roll with it, it's only natural.
Sometimes in the discomfort of life we have to create our own comfort and security. These types of things, I've done over the last decade such as creating a "cozy time". I usually will make hot soup, tea and watch Disney movies or Stephen Spielberg movies. These types of habits are comforting and helpful during even during acute stress. Sometimes these habits turn into weekly rituals just for enjoyment. Have fun exploring ways to feel good!
****Sometimes during times of duress friends, family etc put their arms around you like guardian angels they hover over you with warmth and light. Namaste
During the times people aren't there for you in the ways you hoped, be confident in your skills.
There is always a beacon of hope you can find in meditation, prayer and affirmation. Sometimes our own self reliance becomes a great source of comfort for the rest of our lives.
By Jamie T