The Joy of Not Holding Yourself Back
The Joy of Not Holding Yourself Back Reflections During the Taurus Full Moon. Tuning into to wisdom of nurturing and support. Deep introspection, evolution.
Have you ever had a time in life where you held yourself back? Times where you said, “No don’t go forward stay back here it’s safer, it’s with less judgement and it’s fear free.” Ever had times you played it small to spare someone else’s feelings?
Have you ever felt, no that’s impossible? Times in where you intentionally did less than you could have? Times where you felt unworthy of your dreams? Times where self-doubt turned into looking to others for approval and love instead of developing your own self-love?
A lot of my life I spent oscillating between living the way I really wanted to, doing a pretty good job at it and feelings of fear of doing good and fear of other people’s opinions.
It wasn’t until several years ago, that I found myself deeply unhappy and needing to start anew. Most people who have met me know this. I knew I had to change. I knew that my limiting beliefs, fear of how others felt and thoughts and feelings of unworthiness had to be changed.
At the time I had no idea what it would be like to encourage myself and cheer myself up. It became a life skill that gave me joy and hope on a daily basis.
Learning ourselves to cultivate our worth, grow our self-esteem and encouragement. It’s a skill set of developing your perception into one that is in your highest good.
For me it became years of practice of turning my mind around. Many times I held back while I was hiding my thoughts, feelings and work from the world. I began to confront each and every thing I felt I couldn’t do because of fear and I turned them around and did each one. However uncomfortable each rite of passage was for me, I still continued on.
After I felt myself making some progress, I could feel I became more brave. I continually turned to my inner most thoughts to change them from that of a critical mind to that of becoming my own best friend and cheerleader. I developed a sense of faith that the universe was taking care of me.
Here’s the thing, your experiences, traumas, and things that shaped you from childhood if they weren’t encouraging or healthy can impact your self-worth until you heal them.
As we grow older we can see we have the gift of choosing one thought over another. Choosing the thought that helps you grow and nurture yourself as an adult is an amazing healing tool.
It’s not so much about what you can achieve. It’s the belief you have about if you are worthy and wonderful or not. You could honestly achieve a great deal in life without feeling worthy and without loving yourself. In that case all of your actions and accomplishments are meaningless to you. It’s important to go back and look at the programs that influenced you into unloving, unworthy thoughts, unsatiated feelings and thoughts. Heal them and turn to yourself with a great level of compassion.
There have also been times where I have been deeply supported and the universe showed me, through every facet of life how this was true. Miracles happen everyday. Just the being here is a miracle after all. Paying to attention to this aspect of life does in fact help it grow. That support and unconditional love is there for everyone if you tap into it. Just ask for it, believe it’s there for you and open yourself to receive all that you are truly worthy of.
I want to say this to you as a source of -encouragement in the most loving way possible. If you have something you love doing, don’t hide it, don’t minimize it, let it SHINE. If you are a person anywhere existing you have a LIGHT and let it SHINE.
There’s enough to go around, there’s enough light, abundance, ideas and love to go around for everyone to bring out their best selves. If you see someone trying their hardest, shine some positive light on them. We all have an intention to show our best selves, our gifts, ideas and talents. We integrate these with integrity and respect for others work. You see abundance is for all of us, happiness is for all of us, it’s not reserved for a select few and there are no preconditions to receive all of the above + unconditional love.
I have a desire to encourage everyone and cheer them on. On most days when I set aside our old story together, our differences, our hurts and feelings of competition. This is a reality and a daily practice. When I fall of this track I crawl back on and start over.
You see our fear isn’t really of playing it small, this is our fear, and “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. You’re playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Marianne Williamson
I leave you with this you are here for a reason: find your reason, start letting yourself shine! On days when it’s hard to find courage or support, believe it’s on the way. On the days self-doubt looms in, interrupt it quickly with the thought, “What if my mind is playing tricks on me?” and continue on.
love you all and thanks for reading, many blessings to you and yours.
By Jamie T.
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